..LAST MOVIES SEEN (by date)

Everytime you look up filmmaker in a dictionary, Fernando Eimbcke's picture should be in there.

Whoever thinks for a second that this is just another propaganda, Christian, anti-abortion movie is absolutely missing the point.

As one of the most atheist, most psycho pro-abortion dudes out there, I truly loved it to death.

Beautiful, beautiful movie.

*Review coming soon before the end of November... I fuckin promise! Ok?*

This movie is the definition of unfunny.

I died a little bit inside after 10 seconds of crap.

Who the hell writes this shit?!

Unlike most of the times I love a film which is hated by almost everyone, I can see where does the hate come from: ignorance.

Gringos (I'm sorry for the word but they don't have a word to call themselves) are used to evil virus who ends humanity movies and demand a movie using a similar plotline to respond to every single cliché and gimmick all the other evil virus who ends humanity movies have.

I'm sorry to disappoint you, gringos, but this is not that kind of movie: this is real. The way Meirelles (a filmmaker in the whole meaning of the word) portrays human beings (and the way Saramago did when he wrote the book) and their choices, flaws and fears, is absolutely real.

I'm getting sick of every single "OMFG! Julianne Moore could've done this or that to save those poor people! Boo-hoo!" post out there. SICK!

This is not an action-popcorn-horror-evil virus flick!

True film lovers around the globe: do not get fooled by all the moronic reviews talking about plot holes and crap!

This is (and I'm using this word from the bottom of my heart) a masterpiece.

*Full -no yelling- review coming soon*

Anna Faris is a comedy goddess!

*Review coming soon*

Simply mesmerizing!

*Review coming before the end of November*

Ok, yes, it is probably one of the worst horror movies out there but listen up people: Paris Hilton is not the worst thing ever. She's not even mildly annoying in this movie. I didn't care for her at all.

You know what's the worst part of this piece of junk? The screenplay. It is written using the pubic hair of a Tijuana whore dipped in ink and then brushed all over a piece of paper previously used to whip somebody's butt after a night of eating at Chili's with some spicy Margaritas mixed with burbonic acid and the water from a mexican river.

Yep, it is THAT poorly written. And THAT's the annoying part.

Paris? She looks kind of hot.

Absolutely MORE than just a horror movie.

*Review coming soon*

Please, do not pay attention to the negative reviews on Flixster about this one.

Give it a try!

*Review coming soon*

I'm disgusted by all the negative reviews, both critics and Flixster users.

Please, trust me, this is fantastic.

*Review coming soon*

Dear Mr Cronenberg, would you marry me?

*Review coming soon*

The ultimate B/W slacker indie film.

You really have no idea what this film did to me...

*Review coming soon*

WTF? 5 of my friends (including 3 of my favorite reviewers here) tagged this with Not Interested!
I really need to write a great review...

Yes: it is THAT bad.

It has a LOT of unintentional laughs but every time you're not laughing, you're feeling actual physical pain from the awful performances, the third world cinematography and the disgusting Reggaeton soundtrack.

*Review coming soon*

Don't believe the negative hype and the blank Flixster profile: this is awesome!

*Review coming soon*

Only Judd Apatow and his team would be able to give such a bunch of heart and soul to a gross-out teen flick.

As always, flawless character development.

Pure genius!

*Review coming soon*

Don't dream it, be it!
By far, the most beautiful & sexy portrait of freedom and soul.

*Review coming soon*

Stop the hate! Feel the love! :)

*Review coming soon*

It just DOESN'T STOP! Scene after scene after scene is... a joyride!

But I just wanted to chop Paulie Litt's head off with a kick and pee all over his grave. Could a kid be more ANNOYING? Please, God... make him die a painful, slow death.

*Review coming soon*

It is THAT good.

*Review coming soon*

"The most important thing in business is honesty, integrity, hardwork... family... never forgetting where we came from."

Some people are being kind of mean and illogic about this one: it's not slow, it's epic! An epic tale of crime, family, corruption, drugs and money, all covered up with a good ol' Good versus Evil frosting.

I know why people are kind of disappointed about this one calling it boring: they of course expected a lot more bullets and chases from the man behind the camera, Sir Ridley Scott. But I actually think this is his best movie ever. While some people may argue about the coolness factor behind his best-known masterpieces like Gladiator or Black Hawk Down, I think this movie is closer to Alien when it comes to applying all the explosive, over-the-top cool style of Mr Scott into a nerve-wracking, intense, subtle plotline with beautifully created atmospheres and a great sense of rythm and extraordinary acting.

Denzel and Russell deliver and, while I thought she was going to disappoint me because of the buzz behind her performance, Ruby Dee is actually really, really great. I fell in love with her in Do the right thing but this is definitely more memorable. How she is able to control each scene she's into (considering her screentime is almost nule) is simply mesmerizing.

The top moment? Frank Lucas and Richie Roberts are left all alone in the interrogation room, no lawyers, no microphones. That chat is one of the most extraordinary pieces of acting/directing of the year, and probably the decade. Simply cool to the bone.

Warning: this is not a movie for everyone. If you can't handle long, kind-of slow movies with great tense atmospheres then stay away from it.

My best friend (20 y-o, rich, mexican girl, Favorite Movies: The Lord of the Rings, The Notebook and The Phantom of the Opera) called it "The worst movie ever"...

Your choice.

"He turned down a blow job from his ex-girlfriend... mid-blowjob. You know how hard that is for a man? It's called blue balls. He's like Gandhi! But better - he likes puppets!"

I really want to write a fantastic review about this, so, I will take my time... but, damn! I have to start writing all these reviews already!

Jason Segel is by far one of the best actors I've had the pleasure to see. His whole body of work amazes me: between SLC: Punk!, Freaks & Geeks and this, he shows a fantastic range like no other Apatow Pack member yet.

:)

*Review coming soon*

"Can't you see? She's picking strawverries!"

Anna Magnani is a true delight!

*Review coming soon*

Marina: [Complaining in the car] "This is the most boring trip of my life!!"

Indeed.

I usually LOVE slow paced movies (Glue) and, specially, mexican slow paced independent movies (Two embraces, Turtle family, A thousand clouds of peace, Silent light) but this was just too much. The movie lacks charm, compelling characters (the leading girl was just annoying) and it feels like a Reygadas' rip-off all the way, including cameos by two of Reygadas' muses: Anapola Mushkadiz from Battle in Heaven and Magdalena Flores, the old lady in Japón. Carlos Reygadas has inspired many mexican filmmakers since his first film and the third one made him one of the most important and respected directors ever but, unlike Rubén Ímaz (Turtle family) or even Ernesto Contreras (Blue eyelids), Juan Patricio Riveroll is not capable of filtering his influences and, instead of paying homage to his master he creates a parody.

If there was a mexican version of Scary Movie, it would be called Not Another Reygadas Movie and it would be a lot like this.

Avoid like a Tijuana whore!

Picture this: I love slow movies to death... but this one bored me! Can you imagine that? It looks beautiful but that's it. Good cinematography in a mexican movie doesn't surprise us anymore.

And for a character to say this is the most boring trip she has ever had, it really must be a boring movie, huh?

Let's just say I'm not going to join the massive cult behind this movie.

Believe the buzz... just don't get TOO excited about it.

*Review coming soon*

For a boring Saturday morning, this is the best you can get. Marissa Jaret Winokur's humongous charm is undeniable and Fran Drescher as a stereotypical jewish mother is annoyingly adorable.

The whole art direction makes you feel inside a bad John Waters rip-off but the whole package is full of laughter, campy moments and bad transitions from scene to scene, so it's a really nice moment to relax, smile and enjoy.

Don't expect too much.

"I love it when they dance."

A painful experience.

An extraordinary movie but I couldn't take it. My hate towards Lars Von Trier's methods wasn't the one to blame but the aesthetics and cinematography that were interesting at first but then became annoying and exhausting.

Björk is definitely haunting and the whole supporting cast (including a brilliant appearance by Joel Grey) is simply amazing. The musical numbers are intense and rich. Consider for a second how much I loathe Björk and her "music" and then you'll see how breathtaking she is here: I'm her slave. Her performance is not only nerve-wracking but also charming, despite the tragic turn of the whole story.

The whole plot line was kind of melodramatic and I was prepared to see a soap-opera with Björk songs and Dogme95 camera-work, but if I have anything good to say about Lars Von Trier is that he managed to overcome the whole tearjerker, naive, mother-love-above-all main idea and deliver a study on the human soul and dignity, and, obviously (this is Von Trier we're talking about), a strong critique towards the American people (rednecks) and their trust and legal system is involved but there's nothing to worry about, it's subtle and it doesn't distract from the main plotline.

Deep, raw and completely emotional, this is a difficult experience that rewards the viewer for a couple of hours but in the last 20 minutes or so, it tears the soul appart and the joy of a tragic, well-done film is exchanged with the pain of a difficult movie to swallow, right until the not-so-shocking but definitely strong ending.

For me, this is not a movie I like but it's a movie I respect.

"Hubi, my love....Let's fly away. Maybe beyond the smoke and the fighting, there's a better place. Maybe there really is a paradise where we can just love each other. I don't know.

I wonder if we ever really had a chance. If, even for a moment we had a chance.... Lulu and Yali will probably give the papers a photo of the two of us. Maybe the one from the rave where we look all high and happy.

Maybe people will see how beautiful we look, and understand how stupid these wars are. No, they probably never will."

Heartbreaking and absolutely beautiful.

It gives all the shallow, self-centered gay movies a kick in the balls by dealing with a touchy, universal subject without losing its essence or alienating straight audiences.

Gorgeous!

*Review coming soon*

(By far, one of the greatest soundtracks I've ever listen)

Extraordinary!

*Review coming soon*

Charlie Bartlett: "This place sucks. But I just worry that one day we're gonna look back at high school and wish we'd done something different."

The greatest 97 minutes of my life...

I'm so related to the main character in so many ways that seeing this (for the third time now) with my mom getting pissed off everytime Hope Davis appeared on screen (because she KNOWS just how similar we are to them in real life) is both weird, unconfortable and extremely hilarious.

I'm absolutely madly in love with this movie.

*Review coming soon*

Is there ANYTHING in this God's flat Earth that Meryl Streep CAN'T actually do?

*Review coming soon*

Extremely hilarious satire of the soap opera world in Mexico (a country that treats soap operas like a religion) with amazingly effective and compelling performances and some amazing moments through the great screenplay.

The ending flops a little bit but the hilarity never drops.

Also, it has an awesome drinking game: drink every time you see Miguel Pizarro (a truly excellent actor in a hysterical role as a TV extra who does everything to become a true star) in some scenes in the background playing... an extra in the movie where he plays an extra! Genius, simpy genius.

A good experience that makes fun of itself and the audience, used to demand very little from entertainment.

One of the most hilarious comedies ever filmed in Mexico, compelling and lovely.

Amazing!

*Review coming soon*

One of the most painful, most beautiful, most gorgeous, funniest, sexiest love stories ever told on film.

Simply extraordinary!

*Review coming soon*

Simply, without any doubt in my mind, one of the must fucked up, hardcore, deliciously annoying, psychotic love story ever told on film.

Woody Harrelson's character is extraordinary and hypnotic, Juliette Lewis looks gorgeous, Robert Downey Jr sucks but is hilarious, Tommy Lee Jones goes WAY out of the box and delivers his best performance ever and whoever decided to cast Rodney Dangerfield in this was definitely on crack... and I want me some of that!

Whoever directed, wrote, performed or even watched this film deserves my entire respect for a life time.

Orgasmic!

Shot in a gorgeous b/w, this is by far the cutest, most compelling, most beautiful Tim Burton film ever.

Everything in it is simply unforgetable and lovely and the way Burton manages to pay homage to everything he loves (from old horror movies to dead dogs) is extraordinary. "Frankenweenie" has a soul more than most Burton films that only have charm and dexterity without the spark (no pun intended) this one shows through its wonderful 29 minutes.

I loved every single scene inspired by the original Frankestein plot, from the deliciously annoying angry mob to the last five minutes: a full charge homage to the original movie we all know, even if we haven't seen it. The angry mob carries flashlights instead of torches and Sparky (the Creature) runs into a windmill... inside a miniature golf! How wonderful adaptation! I appreciated that the whole Frankestein family's universe was so perfectly created that you are able to believe a dog comes back from the dead. Another delightful Burtonian suburb.

I was kind of sad when seeing it because I found out about Barrett Oliver's retirement from movies and I was disappointed because he did a tremendous job here. Every single casting choice is pitch-perfect-Burton and I have no idea why Daniel Stern is not a Burton-boy like Depp, Christopher Lee or Jeffrey Jones, as he is simply Burton-esque. Both him and Shelley Duvall are hilarious, specially in their 2 minute in-bed conversation, one of the best moments of the film.

Overall, the film is simply beautiful and I hope intelligent kids everywhere are able to see it because they will be rewarded with an awesome memory for a lifetime.

Slow-paced, dark, twisted, haunting and one of the most interesting characters in recent years captured on film are just some of the elements that shine in this spanish/mexican film.

It deals with Aro Tolbukhin's murders (he set several people on fire in the Guatemala jungle) and what people surrounding him think was behind that. Everyone has his or her own opinion about Aro but even if the real Aro has very little to say, he gives away valuable information behind the man, and by studying the man, we get behind the murder.

The fascinating thing about the movie (flawed but effective) is the way it is told. It's a documentary, told with real footage some french directors had gattered for a film about Aro and mixing that with current footage the new directors filmed for the new movie (mostly interviews with the nun Aro fell in love with while in Guatemala and his nanny back in Hungary) and, for the best part, a fictional work of beauty with actors playing the most mesmerizing moments in Aro's daily life. In this part, the dexterity of the directors comes to life when you realize how the chapters are filmed. We meet with Aro's recolections of his childhood and adolescence in Hungary (recolections no one believes at 100% because of the fantasy world Aro may have created around him) along with the reality behind his last years in Guatemala told by the nun (Sister Carmen) and some villagers who knew him as Hans, a German navy man.

I loved how both visions (Aro's memories of the past and Aro's reality put on film) have completely different styles in storytelling (realistic and raw, without a single bit of drama in his Guatemala days and more fictional, almost poetic in a beautiful b/w for his past), cinematography and music (the directors avoid the use of music for the adult Aro and use it in a dream-like fashion for the young Aro), even the performances and direction are different. There is the strongest spot in the movie: the performances. Some may think a completely breathtaking character like Aro Tolbukhin may give an actor the role of a lifetime, and they are probably right but I wasn't as surprised by the mostly silent Daniel Giménez Cacho/Zóltán Józan/Aram González trio of performances as I was by all the female characters, from Sister Carmen played beautifully by Carmen Beato and Aro's sister, Selma, played by Eva Fortea and Mariona Castillo. I think this happened (female being more amazing than male) because women were the most important element in Aro's mind. His entire life was changed constantly and intensely marked by women who abandoned him: his mother who died at birth, his sister who died tragically in a way Aro would NEVER forget (you'll see why) and sister Carmen, who he loved in many ways we discover through the film. The Aros were silent and their work was reduced to intense inner monologues we are seduced into translating and participate in. The man of the hour, Daniel Giménez Cacho, in an award-winning performance (Ariel 2003 along with Carmen Beato and a nomination for Eva Fortea), was, of course, extraordinary and enjoyed his character to the fullest, taking us to places we didn't want to go in a sensual, hypnotizing way. However, after waiting over 50 minutes to listen to him, he disappointed me by being unable to pull off the "Hungarian from a Bulgarian family impersonating a German speaking Spanish which he learned in Guatemala from a Catalan nun" accent I was expecting from him. Something as tiny but as important as an accent ruined the last part of his performance because he had a challenge to overcome: sharing screentime with the actual Aro Tolbukhin. Both Carmen Beato and Giménez Cacho were given the challenge of creating and performing these characters when seconds ago we were introduced to the real sister Carmen and Aro, and along the way we are sent back and forth from the real characters to the actors. Beato pulls it off perfectly but even if Giménez Cacho also manages to survive this battle, by the moment he speaks for the first time, everything falls appart. His performance is still among the greatest I've ever seen but it could've been in the top 3 if it weren't for that damn accent.

Another complaint: the language. Most mexican people complain about how some movies portray mexican characters speaking English ("The Alamo", "Frida" and some Golden Era movies about Zapata and Juárez come to mind) but we can't respect other people's languages? That's ironic. I thought, by the names of the young actors playing the Tolbukhin siblings, they were going to speak Hungarian but, if they were already using a lot of different languages to tell the story (the interviews are in Hungarian and Catalan), why do the kids speak perfect Spanish? Aren't there enough cute kids in Hungary? It's a useless, stupid complaint but I needed to get it out of my chest, sorry.

Overall, the movie is a outstanding work of research and beauty and even if the format may alienate some of the audience, you have nothing to fear: it never gets too slow or too quiet and there's always a piece of madness in the mind of one of the most wonderful man on film in the last decade.

At the end of the movie, you'll realize many things: not only the reason behind Aro commiting all those murders (and the way he did it) but also the answer to the question in every single character's minds: why did he confess some crimes he didn't do? The answer is right here, and it's one of the most compelling things I've ever put my eyes on. Aro was a murderer but the reasons behind every death in his life are logic and stunning. Wait and see.

Most people see Buñuel's films as strictly surreal and shocking as if that were the most important feature of his outstanding filmography. But, after seeing two of his best films ("Viridiana" and "Los Olvidados") I can asure you that the most interesting element in his style is his ability to be timeless: his movies, from the plot to the performances and, mostly, the direction and cinematography, could've been done back in the day or just a couple of years ago. His films won't get old as he touches universal themes.

I loved how he managed to create such a compelling female character as Viridiana (back in the day when Silvia Pinal wasn't a joke as she is nowadays) even with her huge flaws and issues. The pain she suffers is catapulted towards the audience in every single scene and, after being introduced to the horrible real world Buñuel shows us, we understand why she didn't want to have contact with it in the first place.

I usually hate social criticism in movies and art as I'm a really antisocial person (that's why I love indie filmmaking: it focuses on emotions and moments rather than society and politics) but I love the way Buñuel presents his opinions here and in "Los Olvidados" as a collage of metaphors rather than transforming a beautiful film into a pamphlet or some sort of political agenda. The most amazing metaphor here is the way Jorge, Viridiana's cousin, "saves" a dog from his owner who was making it run under the carriage at a tremendous speed, hurting it, by buying it. He thinks he is making something good for the world but when he turns his back from the road, another carriage comes into frame with another dog tied to its bottom, running and suffering as the first dog. That's only a tiny signal before the masterful final chapter when we learn that being a good person and winning a piece of Heaven for ourselves isn't always as easy or obvious as we think.

For a moment or two, we think Buñuel is trying to teach us that faith and a good heart are powerful weapons to fight reality but suddenly, he tells us that this world is so screwed up that there's no such thing as a good person and faith and God are kind of useless because the human being is the one in charge of making the right choices in life.

Breathtaking from start to finish.